Our Responsibility

    
          Now obviously as parents and family members we have lots of responsibilities. But one that we discussed this week that is one of the greatest we will have is teaching our children about intimacy. That can be kind of an awkward subject, I think we all agree. I still remember my young women leaders would always get all uncomfortable and awkward when that subject would come up in the lesson manual. It is such a personal and private thing that it may be hard to communicate to our children. But we talked in class about how absolutely essential it is to be open with our children. My professor is a marriage and family therapist and he said he remembers counseling a young girl who had some issues, I think she had gotten pregnant maybe, and the parents said that they just didn't want to expose her to anything so they didn't say anything. Well, my professor told them, someone did expose her. And thats what we talked about in class; our children are going to be exposed to sex somehow. We have to take the initiative to make sure our children are finding out about it in the right context, with the right understanding. This includes creating and maintaining an open relationship with our children, so that they can feel comfortable asking us questions and telling us things they might have heard and not understood. This includes being able to talk about any abuse they might have experienced or pornography they might have been exposed to. A man in our class told us that at the age of 6 he had an older boy approach him with a lot of pornography and show it to him. SIX YEARS OLD! This isn't something we can just ignore because it's uncomfortable. We have to be deliberate in teaching our children truths. Help them understand, from a very young age, about modesty and pictures of inappropriately dressed women. Even taking your 4 year old to the grocery store exposes them to pornography just with the magazine racks. We cannot, must not, ignore the fact that our entire world is sexualized and that our children will be facing it on all sides. We need to be teaching them that intimacy is appropriate and good within the bonds of sacred marriage. They need to know how to turn away from inappropriate images, books, movies, music, etc. They need to know the dangers they can face as they start dating and becoming physical with members of the opposite sex. They need to know that others shouldn't be touching them inappropriately and that they should come talk to their parents if anyone does touch them.
Someone will teach your children about sex. Will you make sure that it is you? Or will you let it be the next door neighbor kid, or the pornographic magazine someone shows them at school, or the older adult who abuses them? As Sister Beck taught us today in a regional RS fireside, we need to be intentional about what we allow in our home and what we teach our children. We are the protectors of our homes and we need to act as such.
Definitely an idea that I have been asking myself since this last week. I'll have to get over the awkwardness. Cause really my children are worth dealing with a little of uncomfortable discussions.